|Nothing but a two beach comber
||[Jun. 4th, 2007|02:07 pm]
|||||RHCP- Hump de Hump||]|
I find myself looking in the mirror, a lot. I look at my chin, my cheeks, my nose, my razor burn, my stubble, and even my face. I just look at myself, and i sometimes think I look different than what i really look like. Is the mind truly the master of what we see? Can it really mask the reality of things? let us hope it can.
It's strange I imagine, but I do it anyway.
And then I think of my regrets, I have many. I've done some stupid things in my life, really thoughtless and stupid, and can't shake the guilt. And I just can't forget it and move on. Just my luck I suppose.
Work is getting to me. I work as hard as I can, help as many people as I can, try to be that guy who doesn't say no to a favor, and what do I get, I get nothing. People are downright mean to me, my bosses are incompetent and I feel like I'm talking to work manuals, and it's all getting very old. There are still some things keeping me from going postal, but it's not going to hold forever.
I don't know what it is but I can never properly write what i want to, I never can find the right words to say how I really feel. I guess all those years as an introvert paid off, figures. I guess I'll try to write more about my observations and thoughts. But its hard because i notice things and see things that others just pass by and ignore, I see nuonces and little details and take note of them. And I see the humour in some thigns that most cannot.
I know this all seems disconnected and unorganized, but when you think like I do: see all the angles, absorb all the information, and process everything very rapidly, this all makes sense.
I an confident I am unique, a different kind of animal than most, thinking differently, acting differently, and living differently.
But for now, I'll keep traveling, and watching, and learning.